7.11.2013

LOVE | HOW TO SURVIVE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ! PART 3


Hi my Inside-Out Beauties!

When you put a lot of thought, effort and love behind a blog, the best thing that could ever happen to you is to have the support and appreciation of your readers.  That's why I'm so grateful for all the positive feedback I've received on my How to survive a long distance relationship series.  For me, writing only makes sense if I can touch your hearts, or help you all in some way.  And what I love the most about this particular series... is that my readers are writing it with me!

So today I bring you the story of another reader, Daphne and how her relationship with Borja survived being 7376.05 miles apart.  There are some interesting tips in this long distance love story, so keep reading.



Hi Daphne!  Welcome and thank you for sharing your long distance love story with us.
You're welcome and thank YOU Heidi!   

So, let's start with the basics, where are you and Borja from?
I'm Filipina and he is Spanish.

Wow!  Those are such distant countries...  So, I'm dying to know, how did you two meet?
We met in Manila, Philippines in 2007. We started out as really good friends. He left 10.5 months later for Madrid.

That must have been hard after over 10 months...  but were you dating during those 10 months?
No, it was just a friendship at that point.

It must have been hard, the sudden distance after sharing so much time together!
Yes, but we kept constantly in touch -- chatting every day on MSN, quick daily phone calls, and of course Skype. But there were some difficult times too, around October 2008, I told a very good friend that I thought Borja was becoming distant. My friend secretly wrote him a message and told him how I was feeling...
It turns out I was being very silly because he was actually planning to surprise me for Christmas! When he came, that was when we really started dating and as they say, we became official.

So that's where the long distance LOVE relationship actually started...

Yes!  And the next time we saw each other was a year later, in December 2009!


Wait... you were apart for one whole year!  This is the longest I've heard this far...  How did you survive the distance?
Talking on the phone, chatting, emailing, and Skype-ing whenever both our schedules would permit was how we survived through that year. I have to be really honest and say that I've had long distance relationships before and none of them worked out and some part of me was afraid that this one might not work out either. However, Borja broke down my walls consistently -- he met me halfway every step of the way. I could feel and see his commitment towards me and our relationship. He was consistent.


I understand...  So you know Daphne, my How to Survive Long Distance Relationship series gets hundreds and hundreds of visits daily, so what I like to ask is for tips.  Something our readers can take and use to deal with this challenge themselves... what would yours be?
Well, firstly, to make a long distance relationship work, both have to be equally committed it.  You can't have one person doing more than the other to make it work. It should also feel natural ( or as natural) as long distance would allow.

What do I mean by this? While Borja was in Madrid and I in Manila we were together in every way but we had our own lives as well separately. We never stopped each other from going out with friends, we never argued about who we were with nor about the time we got home after going out.

We also told each other everything! We made time to communicate daily no matter how little time we had -- an SMS, a short email, a quick phone call etc. All these things were vital to our lives apart. 

It is also very important to remember the value of  honestly and openly being willing to discuss thoughts and feelings, positive or negative. We talked about everything and that is essential to any relationship long distance or not.

Oh, absolutely!  That last one is great relationship advice in general. So, what happened one year later when you two met again?

In March 2010, we met up in Singapore to attend his best friend's wedding. We had 9 days together in a country that we both love (Borja loves it because he lived there for close to 7 years and me, because it is where I think I would like to raise my children and settle down). During these days we had a serious talk about taking the relationship to the next level... by moving in together. We were also dreading the airport farewells that were so heart-wrenching. We both knew that we couldn't do that much longer. Our hearts would just simply burst from the pain and die.

That's so sweet, and a very accurate description of the bitterness of saying goodbye, right?  So, what did you decide then?  Philippines, Spain, Singapore...?
So on August 26, 2010 I packed all my bags and said goodbye to everything I have known for my whole life and moved to Madrid, Spain. It has been the best decision we have ever made. The long distance relationship we had for 2 years before that had finally become a reality. Almost 3 years since that day of my arrival and  it's been, and continues to be.... an amazing journey!

That's such a lovely ending to a very challenging long distance love story.  This has been very romantic and inspiring Daphne. I can't thank you enough for deciding to share your story here on my blog.  

If any of you would like to contact Daphne, feel free to tweet her or checkout her blog !

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So, what's YOUR long distance love story?
Let me know in the comments below :)


See you on Twitter !

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4 comments:

  1. Hi, you have a beautiful blog, I follow you with bloglovin and gfc. Thanks for following me <3

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  2. Uggh! There's totally someone in my life right now that I am considering getting involved with--but this is literally the FIRST success story I have read regarding long distance relationships... Hmm... Food for thought!

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  3. Hi Hillary! I guess there's not one answer to relationships. We all need to figure out what works for each one of us... There's 2 more stories on my blog with tips, if you're interested

    http://www.theinsideoutbeauty.com/2013/06/how-to-survive-long-distance.html

    http://www.theinsideoutbeauty.com/2013/05/how-to-survive-long-distance.html


    Hope you make the right choice for you <3

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  4. Hi Mihaela! That's a huge compliment. Thanks Sweetie! <3

    ReplyDelete

Getting your comments keeps me posting! Leave me yours and include a link to your blog! Yes! Why not? I'd love to learn about it :)

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