6.05.2013

LOVE | How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship - Part 2

Hi my Inside-Out Beauties!
You enjoyed How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship PART 1, now let's go deeper into this with a new story!   Today's special guest is a loyal reader of TheInsideOutBeauty.com .  I have invited Maddy to discuss her personal experience "surviving" a long distance relationship.  Being in love and apart can be quite challenging for us women, so I thought her testimony and advice would be very valuable to us all.  Thanks for agreeing to this interview Maddy.

Maddy - A long distance love survivor :)

Let's start with the basics:  is a long distance relationship even possible Maddy?
Yes! Of course it is. I love my boyfriend VERY much and I would do anything to be with him, however being in a long distance relationship is not for everyone and it takes a special kind of relationship to be able to withstand one. You have to be able to deal with many lonely nights away from him. That's probably the hardest part. Not being able to actually talk to him and having to rely on technology in order to talk to him is a challenge. If you can deal with both those things for long periods of time, then by all means a long distance relationship is very possible.


That's so true Maddy! How long have you been in a long distance relationship? 


My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year (15 months) , and we've been in a long distance relationship for 7 months.


Where did you and your boyfriend meet?
We met on twitter actually! He followed me, and I thought he was cute so I followed him back. He tweeted something, I replied and the rest is history! It's weird, we both know that, but I don't care! I love him with my all and meeting him for the first time was so surreal. You have no idea how relieved I was to find out that I most definitely NOT talking to some weird person online. He turned out to be exactly who he said he was, and  this just goes to show that love can be found in the strangest of places. However if you are online dating, be wary and careful, cause there are creeps out there!


That's a very romantic story to tell your children! < LOL >  It's 2013 and meeting online has become a more frequent thing.  I agree everyone should be super careful !  (Meet in public places and with friends first, and other rational precautions you would take with any stranger).  But, back to ling distance relationships... How often do you see each other, on average?
I rarely get to see him, and my circumstances are different from normal long distance relationships because my boyfriend is in the military, and I am only allowed to see him when his job permits; which is NOT often, it's been seven months since I've seen him and it's a real struggle. I have my days where I am really feeling the distance and I need to really push on, and then there are days where I feel incredibly strong in my relationship. Aaron and I are here to support each other and we help each other out as much as possible. For example, I have a hoodie and a few t-shirts that he let me keep and he has some of my clothing as well. It's the little things like that, that make this long period of time of not being together much easier.


I love how you say you're there to support each other.  That's a great thing in any relationship, and not that frequent.  How often do you stay in touch when he's away?
Most days, especially recently, we talk every day. We text often and we Skype whenever he can. However I have also had to rely on the post to talk to him, I have huge stack of love letters that mean the world to me! The longest I've ever gone without talking to him on the phone (texting or phone calls) is three months, strictly letters. THAT was a challenge, but my love for him persevered and we came out of that period stronger than ever! 


That does sound like a challenge indeed!  But very romantic too Maddy!  What do you think is the hardest part of being away from your boyfriend? 
The hardest part of being away from my boyfriend is not being able to be with him physically whenever I want,  and just not being able to do things that a local couple would be able to do; like date nights, going out to dinner with him, falling asleep together, going on double dates with my girlfriends, constantly feeling like a third wheel around my friends and their boyfriends/husbands, the list goes on and some times it makes me feel REALLY alone. Those are my worst days, and I rely heavily on the support of my boyfriend and my understanding friends to get through them. Those these things are big factors, though I try to not let them define our relationship. Our relationship was founded on love, not the fact that we're so far away from each other, and I'd like to keep it that way.


When I miss someone, I tend to talk about that person a lot, and it really helps.  Does that ever happen to you? 
I do, and I do it a lot. I'm blessed to have an amazing group of friends that are understanding, and put up with my boyfriend rants about the distance and how much I miss him. I think they feel bad for me! But they're the best and they definitely make this while thing a whole lot easier!

Good friends are essential for these situations!  Do you think men and women handle long distance relationships differently?  Men do have the fame of showing their emotions less...
 Communication is VITAL to a long distance relationship, the guy really has to be in love with you for it to work. Only when he feels truly safe and comfortable with you, will he let those emotions out. Aaron and I have had some really tense heart to heart conversations about the distance, and he opened up a lot to me, to my surprise. We discussed whether or not it's even worth trying, and in the end we both agreed that we love each other and that it is. I can't speak on behalf of other men in long distance relationships, but my boyfriend is really committed to making ours work, so he does what it takes to satisfy the emotional needs I have within our relationship, despite the distance. And for that, he's the best!

Awww that's so great!  If you had to give a couple of quick tips on how to survive a long distance relationship, what would those be Maddy?
Hmm let me think.. Number one would be to be available to talk to your significant other whenever they need you, being reliable is important. Number two would be to keep an overall good attitude, distance isn't forever! Number three would be to remember that you are still allowed to be happy even when they're gone, do what makes you happy! and four, love that person with everything that you have and then some!  That will make your long distance relationship so much more enjoyable :)


Those are GREAT ones!  Thanks Maddy!  Finally, how do you make the moments you get to be together memorable?
When we're together, we both set aside 3-4 days just for each other and clear our schedules, no work, no classes, just us two. We get a hotel room close enough to home for us to go back home within an hour or so, but far enough away to create a stay-cation for ourselves. We go out to eat every night and make it a big deal. I get all dolled up, he puts his dress shoes on and we celebrate the limited amount of time that we have together. During the day we mostly just hang out, go to a movie, and we just relax. Last time we went to a Dodger game, we're both huge baseball fans :)  We also make up for the months that we haven't been able to have some alone and private time. That's also a struggle that people often overlook when it comes to long distance relationships LOL 


That's true Maddy!  < LOL >  Thank you so much for being honest and transparent and for sharing your experience and tips.  I'm sure you've helped many!
Thank you for the interview Heidi! I'm truly honored! You're my fav!



Now it's YOUR turn! What tips do YOU have to survive a long distance relationship?

See you on Twitter !

Let's connect!

3 comments:

  1. Im now engaged to my lovely boyfiend who lived in wales and I lived in Kent! We're now living together after a very long year and a half of him traveling over 4 hours on a friday night after a full week at work, just to stay until 4pm on Sunday when he had to go back home. xoxox

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  2. Would you like to tell your story here sometime? <3

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  3. Yeah, of course! Drop me an email at gemmatomkinson2011@hotmail.co.uk <3

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