3/19/2013

INNER BEAUTY | How to be a little HAPPIER every day - 3 Things you can start putting into Practice NOW!

We fill our life with endless goals:  school, career, wealth, recognition, etc, etc, etc...  But do we really focus on how our goals should be aimed at what makes us happier?

Here's the first of what I'm hoping will be a series of "How to be a little Happier" posts.
I'm thinking of this as an exchange as, hopefully, you'll be leaving me your tips and learnings in the comments, so we can make this a two way thing.

Like many of you, I try to learn how to be a little happier, every single day, and this has become my main objective in life for a while now.

Let me share with you 3 quick tips that I'm trying to put into practice every single day of my life, to achieve this...

1♥  Forget about Happiness as a goal in itself.  

Happiness is a path, a ride, a state of mind we choose to live with, a determination within our inner selves, a point of view we decide to have on life, a sum of little choices that feel right for us...

When I had a miscarriage, two days before my birthday, last November and was hospitalized, I was asked whether my birthday celebration would be cancelled.  Ironically, that was the day I was planning to tell everyone I was pregnant.  As you can imagine, whether there was a party to attend to or not, felt like a very small, insignificat question to me then, but it was still a valid question on second thought (at least for people who were planning to attend).  Like many times in life, I had a choice:  I could stay at home crying and feeling sorry for myself, or I could join everyone I loved and celebrate everything else that I did have in my life.  And I chose the latter of course. 

That little choice, made me a little happier that day.

 

2♥ Embrace who you are.

You're probably an expert in reminding yourself every single one of your flaws.  You may think you're weird, or that you don't fit in.

Fitting in is boring and overrated, in my honest opinion.  Being yourself automatically makes you unique and interesting!

Be the first one to acknowledge that even your flaws (which are probably a lot less important than you think) make you who you are ... and smile  :)    

Fall in love with yourself... embrace that mix of Ying & Yang that got you here. 

There's always a place for someone like YOU!

 

3♥ Understand you're NOT alone... EVER!

Have you any idea of how many people I've met feel that way?  Countless!

When we're in pain, it is natural to feel alone with our pain.

But that doesn't mean it is true.

Most people tend to hide their pain, and don't share it.  That's one of the reasons why we feel we're the unlucky ones, because many are afraid to share.  And it's understandable.  When something hurts, we shelter and protect it... we don't want to show our weaknesses in case someone else takes advantage of them.

That said, you'd be surprised at how many people will open up to help others go through a tough time.

You don't need to go that far to find them.

When I miscarried, I felt so alone too.  Don't get me wrong. I had so many people around me giving me love and support.  Starting with my husband, of course.  That means, I wasn't lonely, but I felt alone for a while, because I didn't know anyone else who had gone through something like this... or did I?

As soon as I started opening up to others, I realized I had relatives, friends, and even clients that had gone through similar (if not WORSE) miscarriage stories.  I'm lucky that I chose to open up early, so I could listen to their testimonies when I needed them most.

If you don't think you can share a painful experience with those around you, just like me, there are so many other bloggers, forums, groups, Youtubers all over the internet that are discussing and sharing very valuable life experiences.

In fact, to be absolutely honest, the internet was the first place I turned to.  I needed to research about my loss, right after I came back from the hospital.  I was hungry for answers.  Even though I didn't expect to find THEM, online I discovered so many women that had gone through similar situations who were so kind and generously putting themselves out there, to help others like me.  

So, in a way, I guess these are my two cents... or I hope so.

At that moment, not only my family and friends, but also anonymous people online, unknown to me until then, helped me realize we're never the ONLY ones experiencing a particular emotionally painful situation.

We all experience it in our own way, of course, but we're never really alone. 

No matter why you were looking for answers on "How to be Happier" I'm so glad you ended up here!  If you're feeling alone in your pain right now, know that it is normal to feel that way... but that feeling may no be entirely accurate.

(I had pictured this would be a longer post, but sharing all this has touched a few sensitive strings inside me...  It is my first time opening up on  a sensitive subject in the internet, and I truly hope it helps someone out there).

Leave me a comment, I'm here to listen to your story too...  What brought you here today?  Are you being bullied?  Did you suffer a loss?  Are you insecure?  Do you feel lost?  Are you heart broken?

Stay tuned for more posts on "How to be a little Happier" very soon :)

See you on Twitter !

Let's connect!

7 comments:

  1. Very good post hunnie, I am a very negative person by nature and it's sometime hard to stay positive and happy when rough things happen. But as I have been through depression before I know I just don't want to get back to that. I also try and identify what really makes me happy, and I found that things such as making youtube videos, and/or watching them really soothe me, also I know that I can always count on my bestfriend, and she always helps to put a smile on my face ! Have a great day !

    Charlie xx
    http://charliesmakeupboxes.blogspot.fr/

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  2. Hi Charlie! Thank you so much for taking the time to share with me. Life can be overwhelming, and negativity often gets in our heads. We need to win that mental fight and stay positive. And that's what you're doing by staying close to what we love. You can only be positive if you're doing little things, and taking little choices that feel right for you. I think negativity wins, when we give up everything we're naturally driven to do, that makes us happy, in order to do what others expect us to do instead. Send you much love and keep going through that path that feels right for you <3 <3 <3

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  3. I love this post. There are always reasons to be happy despite hard times. I've suffered from two miscarriages between my two daughters and it makes you feel like an utter failure. The devastation a life you hadn't met creates is beyond words. It's soul destroying and thoroughly crushing but when the time comes and the pregnancy sticks it's like you can love like that threefold. I am so sorry for your loss.

    xo.

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    1. Thanks Laura. So many months later I'm still trying to get back on the horse. As you said, it's beyond words. But we always grow from this experiences. You have no idea how much it means to me that you shared your own experiences with me. And I'm so sorry you went through 2 losses yourself. But you did a very nice thing leaving me this comment. Hope I can communicate with this words how grateful I am. Send you love <3 Heidi

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  4. Great post! Thanks for sharing x

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Getting your comments keeps me posting! Leave me yours and include a link to your blog! Yes! Why not? I'd love to learn about it :)

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